


@defnotspidey

by lucy_blue



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Christmas, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Gen, Internet, Memes, Peter is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, Social Media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 10:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucy_blue/pseuds/lucy_blue
Summary: Spider-Man @defnotspidey@mothmemes Radioactive spider bit meCalcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset@defnotspidey @mothmemes Sounds fake but ok





	1. and so it begins

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
just because i got spidey sense don’t mean i got common sense.  
Location: swingin over NYC  
Joined: Today

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
Bored in study hall decided to procrasinate on twitter, got any questions for spidey? 

Come To Memes Like Moth To Lamp @mothmemes  
@defnotspidey How You Get UR Powers?

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@mothmemes Radioactive spider bit me 

Calcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset  
@defnotspidey @mothmemes Sounds fake but ok

Calcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset  
@defnotspidey @mothmemes where would you even find a radioactive spider??

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset oscorp lol 

Come To Memes Like Moth To Lamp @mothmemes  
@defnotspidey Disasters Come to Oscorp like Moth to Lamp

gotta get that bread @economymemes  
@mothmemes @defnotspidey Oscorp is like. the hammer industries of the biochemical market

Calcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset  
@defnotspidey what kinda music do you like? musicals hopefully?? 

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset yeah im a big musicals fan altho i havent listened to that many and im too poor to see any in broadway :/

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset i also really like kpop especially #blackpink and #bts 

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset mr. stark hates it which is half the fun lol

support blackpink! stream and vote!!! @blackpinkinurarea  
@defnotspidey ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US! 

team iron man @tonystarkisgod  
@defnotspidey good parody account 10/10 you got urself a follow

Come To Memes Like Moth To Lamp @mothmemes  
@defnotspidey @tonystarkisgod This Is Parody Account?

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@mothmemes @tonystarkisgod is it? you tell me. *X files music* 


	2. aesthetiiiic

Calcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset  
@defnotspidey Why do you wear clothes over ur suit?  
[retweeted selfie of a woman with a huge grin on her face, pointing at Spider-Man. She’s holding a cat in her arms. Spider-Man is wearing a huge black hoodie with Star Wars written on it on white. It’s captioned, “Spider-Man LITERALLY rescued my cat from a tree. You think I’d be making this up, but I got a pic for proof so…”]

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset spiders dont thermoregulate and while mr. stark has a heater in the suit i dont want to waste energy if i dont have to so

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@defnotspidey plus im too extra/fashionable to wanna wear the exact same thing every single day :/ and suit under civvies is just so. Aesthetic i love it

Hawkeye more like hawkWHY @birdbrain  
@defnotspidey uhh just a warning my gram retweeted this and uhh i think shes already knitting u a sweater :/ i mean idk if this is even really spider-man but spidey if ur reading this… beware

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@birdbrain i would die of happiness 

Hawkeye more like hawkWHY @birdbrain  
@defnotspidey seriously is this a parody account? If so ur version of spidey is really fleshed out… idk if ive ever heard him talk about like musicals/kpop, or his fav pizza, or whatever… (1/2)

Hawkeye more like hawkWHY @birdbrain  
@defnotspidey and the explanation for clothes over suit is the most logical one iv’e heard so liiike… (2/2)

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@birdbrain no comment

Gotta get that bread @economymemes  
@birdbrain literally no one knows. @defnotspidey wont say anything on it. I mean part of it is this account has only been around a few weeks and spidey’s p private (1/2)

Gotta get that bread @economymemes  
@birdbrain @economymemes i know its not likely but i like to pretend hes actually spidey but probably hes not and will slip up and say something ooc soon (2/2)

Hawkeye more like HawkWHY @birdbrain  
@economy it would be so amazing if he is the real thing tho. Can you imagine. If so then. I tweeted spidey. God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @birdbrain actually does love hawkeye. just kinda tough love i guess? annoyed appreciation?


	3. spidey's adoption service

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
Uhh so i found this bby on patrol today, someone left him out in a box in an alley. hes a real sweetie, needs to visit the vet but is honestly the cutest (1/4)  
[picture of a small black kitty in a box. There’s a blur of red the same color as Spider-Man’s suit in the corner]

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@defnotspidey I named him T’Challa after my third fave avenger (first being Thor obvi, close second Iron Man) and i bet hell be just as brave strong and good at scratching things as the real t’challa (2/4)

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@defnotspidey Uhh actually being good at scratching things is probably a bad thing, umm basically hes a huge sweetie and needs a good home (3/4)

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@defnotspidey Mr. stark says he cant take him bc the lab isn’t really something u can kitty proof and im afraid i cant take him either (otherwise I TOTALLY would), if anyones interested DM me plz! (4/4)

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@defnotspidey thank you so much to everyone who responded to me. I ended up putting T’Challa with @hufflepunk007 as she seems to be the best home for T’Challa. Shes also promised to keep everyone updated w photos!!!

Gotta get that bread @economymemes  
@birdbrain this could be proof that @defnotspidey could (maybe) actually be spidey! Look at the red in the corner! And @hufflepunk007 would know if it wasnt spidey sooo

Hawkeye more like like HawkWHY @birdbrain  
@economymemes aghhh i knoooooow im freaking out rn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man Certified Cat Lady  
> @hufflepunk007  
> Aspiring Screenwriter. Cat Lady. Spider-Man himself named my newest animal friendo, T’Challa! #nyclovesspidey  
> Location: Queens, New York  
> Joined: March 2014


	4. [typing...]

Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
just because i got spidey sense don’t mean i got common sense.  
Location: swingin over NYC  
Joined: two months ago

46 tweets, following 6, 24 followers, 32 likes

Following:  
Dr. Tony Stark [verified] @iamironman  
King T’Challa [verified] @theblackpanther  
Dr. Bruce Banner [verified] @bbanner  
Pepper Potts [verified] @VirginiaPotts  
SuperWatch [verified] @superwatch  
Spider-Man Certified Cat Lady @hufflepunk007

Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
Honestly looking back a good 50% of the reason i went to germany w mr. stark is bc the cap america fitness challenge videos are so h*cking annoying

Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
The other 50% being just wanting to meet the avengers

The Freshest Memes [verified] @memesdaily retweeted Spider-Man @defnotspidey:  
Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
Honestly looking back a good 50% of the reason i went to germany w mr. stark is bc the cap america fitness challenge videos are so h*cking annoying  
5789 likes 1862 retweets 281 people talking about this

Spider-Man @defnotspidey retweeted Yeeet @itswednesdaymydudes  
@defnotspidey you a parody account?

Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
just because i got spidey sense don’t mean i got common sense.  
Location: swingin over NYC  
Joined: two months ago

47 tweets, following 6, 998 followers, 32 likes

Constant viligance!!! @fortytwoistheanswer  
@defnotspidey is a parody account right?  
80 likes, 15 retweets, 22 people talking about this

Spider-Man  
@defnotspidey  
just because i got spidey sense don’t mean i got common sense.  
Location: swingin over NYC  
Joined: two months ago  
47 tweets, following 6, 3k followers, 32 likes

47 tweets, following 6, 6k followers, 32 likes

47 tweets, following 6, 8k followers, 32 likes

47 tweets, following 6, 9k followers, 32 likes

Ills stop wearing black when they make a darker color @panicatthecrisco  
@iamironman Does Spider-Man have a twitter?

Radhika @bloodforthe_bloodgod  
@panicatthecrisco good idea! @iamironman is @defnotspidey actually spiderman? 

Law and Lack of Order @legallybrunette  
Its pretty unlikely, the whole sleeve thing ppl are talking about is probably all planned, @hufflepunk007 is in on it too, i bet.

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

[typing…]


	5. mutuals

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

Do you have a twitter?

yea of course

everyone has a twitter nowadays

As Spider-Man?  


if i. theoretically. did what would you say?

Kid.

yeeeeeees?

I mean it would probably actually help with publicity

Less of that jjj guy’s bullshit and more of you  
being a boy scout

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Haha i would have thought someone as ancient as you wouldn't get it  


But i guess even old ppl learn eventually

Cmon 

I’m hurt

4 minutes ago  


[typing…]

thanks mr. stark

[typing…]

No prob 

2 minutes ago

 

[typing…]

We’re still on for this weekend, right?

Yup!!

Im telling you, machete order will change ur life

 

Dr. Tony Stark [verified] @iamironman  
Genius. Billionare. Playboy. Philanthropist.  
Location: New York City  
Joined: March 2006

Following 5:  
Colonel Rhodes [verified] @WarMachine  
Happy Hogan [verified] @HHogan  
Pepper Potts [verified] @VirginiaPotts  
Dr. Bruce Banner [verified] @bbanner  
Spider-Man @defnotspidey

Def not a def not spidey fan account @90sbbby  
[screenshot of the people Tony Stark is following]  
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT

mashups and shitposting @mazziemashups  
Doeshis mean @defnotspidey is actually spideRman??? @iamironman EXPLAINrlkfjDKLFLKFFHI UEUYROOHI FLKHJFK

It’s wednesday my dudes AAAAAAA @minecraftnostalgia1  
SPIDERMAN IS OFFICIALLY GEN Z SUCK IT MILLENIALS/OTHER GENERATIONS

every day is bruce banner appreciation day @appreciatebrucebanner  
SPDIER MAN IS A MEMELVING GEN Z KID LIKE THE REST OF US AND IAM LIVING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> formatting for the texts was a nightmare and i just ended up centering it bc i dont know how to put everything all the way to the right. if anyone could explain that i will love you forever


	6. spider-boi the musical

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
[selfie of Spider-man hanging upside down, holding up a peace sign]  
Hi guys its me. ur friendly neighborhood spider-man  
126k likes 34k retweets 1.2k people talking about this 

Hawkeye more like hawkWHY @birdbrain  
@economymemes ALKFJOUR@LFKJ RUQ@: KLJ CLJ:FIH:LFD:IYLRYOIHRILHAFJ:

Gotta get that bread @economymemes  
@birdbrain I KNOW RIGHT 

Calcalust @thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset  
HOLY FKLUFLUWO SHIT SPIDER-MAN REALLY DOES LIKE THEATRE SLKJFOEULK D 

and cake x2 @kickinhomophobesinthenose  
@thelancelotoftherevolutionaryset WAIT HE DOES HFLKFPOUE OH MY GOD CAN WE GET A SPIDER MAN MUSICAL FLKYRI@ UE

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@kickinhomophobesinthenose I WOULD DIE OF SHEER JOY 

Spider-Man @defnotspidey   
@kickinhomophobesinthenose FOR A MUSICAL ABOUT ME I WOULD LET THE VULTURE YEET ME INTO THE HUDSON YET AGAIN 

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@kickinhomophobesinthenoe I WOULD LISTEN TO A THOUSAND OF CAP’S PSAS

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@kickinhomophobesinthenose I WOULD PRETEND MR STARK IS COOLER THAN THOR

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
@defnotspidey thats it, I want the suit back

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@iamironman sorry for speaking the truth

Eliza G. @superherosuperfan  
[screenshot of above conversation]  
There is so much to unpack here,,, 

Eliza G. @superherosuperfan  
@superherosuperfan “Yeet me into the hudson” plz spidey r u. Okay????

Eliza G. @superherosuperfan  
@superherosuperfan spidey is. Obviously a fan and it just??? Inspires me??? If spiderman who is obvi a huge fanboy can do it so can we???

Eliza G. @superherosuperfan  
@superherosuperfan also tony and spidey’s relationship is just. Ugh. i want tony to mentor ME. 

Eliza G. @superherosuperfan  
@superherosuperfan as a conclusion, spider-boiii is adorable and we must protect him


	7. friendly neighborhood meme

memes for cheap!! @newmemeseveryday  
[Spider-Man’s selfie. caption changed, so it now reads, "hi guys its me. ur friendly neighborhood meme"]  
New meme format

Trench is my new religion @tylerbeingasmolbean  
[Spider-Man’s selfie, but with “Jumpsuit” written in white text over Spider-Man’s face. The caption reads, "hi guys its me. ur friendly neighborhood bop"]

Drew @drewsdrewdles  
[Spider-Man’s selfie, but with “me” over Spider-Man’s face. Caption reads "hi guys its me. ur friendly neighborhood gay." ]

Shitty username here i guess @shittyaliashere  
[Spider-Man’s selfie, but with “Spider-Man” replaced with “smol cinnamon roll who must be protected at all costs”]

**Nedodore**

PETER

PETER

UR A MEME

I

SPIDER MAN IS A MEME NOW 

FLKFJRIU R THIS HAS REACHED PEAK AWESOME

THIS IS THE BEST TIMELINE

I WILLUSE THIS MEME FOR 

EVERYTHING

1 minute ago

I just want to thank you again  
for allowing me to be a part of this journey

dude u dont need to thank me

uve helped me so much, this is ur journey too

Thanks bro

of course bro

**MJ**

i think ned may be more excited about

me being a meme than me being spidey lol

wait shit uhhhh

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

MR STARK IM SO SORRY

IDIDNT MEAN TO I THOUGHT I WAS TEXTING MAY

**MJ**

dude. ive known for months

you’re not very subtle

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

What happened? Are you alright?

i accidentaly revealed my indietny to mj

but she says she alreayd knows??

She’s your friend, right?

Probably trustworthy. 

even if she isn't, well, my legal team is a thing to be feared

sometimes they scare even me

thanks dad

**Nedodore**

SHIT

SHIT SHI T FKIG SHT

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

autocorect amirigt?? lol

**Nedodore**

i have. Regrets

Being a meme is an honor

not that

i called mr. stark dad 

oofity oofers.

i know right

Just remmber whatever happens. ur still a meme

good point

plus. he like. totally made a dad joke that one time 

he said "hi dead inside im mr. stark" not "hi dead inside im dad"

so. it like. doesnt count

it definitely counts

fkjflsfkludsljfl i think i need to go like. Take a nap.

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

[typing…]

[typing stops]

[typing…]

whoops looks like something came up

gotta blast!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for all your amazing comments! i haven't responded to very many but lemme tell you. there is nothing like getting comments on your story. plus comments are a+ inspiration/motivation to write more. yeah so just. thank you :)


	8. the original spider-man meme

BuzzFeed @BuzzFeed  
Spider-Man Parody Account Turns Out To Actually Be Spider-Man, Blesses Us With Superhero Shitposts and A New Meme [link attatched]

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Holy shit im verified

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Holy shit BuzzFeed wrote an article about me

(cat)ie @ladygogo  
@defnotspidey controversial opinion but the spiderman meme is better than the Captain America one

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
@ladygogo Holy holy shit holy shit why is everyone being so nice?? i just... what??

Dr. Tony Stark [verified] @iamironman  
@defnotspidey it’s almost like you’re a famous and well loved superhero?

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
@iamironman sounds fake but okay

Wig? Who is this wig you speak of? @andthtstheteaa  
@iamironman @defnotspidey this is just. An entire mood. 

Tea party yall tea tea why am i so obsessed with tea @teawcrumpets  
@andthtstheteaa @defnotspidey @iamironman new tag yourself meme, are you the iron dad of the friend group, or the disaster super (spidey)? 

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
This entire thing is like the wednesday thing but on steroids

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Holy shit i realized that literally no one except me knows what the wednesday thing is 

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Plot twist this in not the first time spider-man has been a meme. Its just. This was before people knew about spidey and no one shared it so… is it a meme if no one shared it? I…

Jessiecaaa @tiredddelegate  
@defnotspidey askin the real questions here

Keyboard smashing? Art @maridontgottime  
@defnotspidey plz spidey we need. We need the OG spider-man meme

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
It was on vine i think it might be gone forever. I saved it but i cant find it?

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Hold up im asking Karen for help

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
@defnotspidey I can't believe this is what you use my top of the line cutting edge custom made AI for

Studio ghibli is a e s t h e t i c @mononokesdeliverycastle  
@defnotspidey plz spidey. The internet is on the edge of their seats

Tamika flynn is an entire mood @eldritchgayshit  
@defnotspidey GIVE US THE SPIDER-MAN VINE

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
I FOUDN IT THANK YOU KAREN

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
HOLD UP MAKING A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT TO UPLOAD IT

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Yall dont REALIZE that THIS is the. This is why i pull on my red and blue spandex every morning

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
@JimmyHere this has a very special place in my heart, i regret never being able to thank you for this,,,  
[link to a newly uploaded youtube video, in it a dude wearing swim goggles speaks to camera: “it is Wednesday my dudes.” the shot shifts to show him reflected in the mirror, showing a mock Spider-Man costume; he bends back his head and eloquently screams “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i regret to inform you that today is not, in fact, a wednesday, my dudes


	9. xmas

**May <333**

We’ll do something extra for  
New Year’s, I promise

k

Have fun at work <3 <3

8 minutes ago

hey just wonderin where’s the screwdriver?

Top left door of the dresser

cool cool ty

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

mr. Stark im so sorry but i think i broke my heater

can i come over some time soon?

sure kid

How does Tuesday work for you?

I mean it works fine for me but likke…

Don’t worry you aren’t interrupting anything

Pepper’s still in Tokyo, things are pretty lowkey this year

yea same lol

may’s busy on christmas so

anyway cu then

* * *

**Hapster**

How does one decorate?

>The kid is coming over on Christmas

Apparently his aunt has work

I’m heading over right now

* * *

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted Zoey @zoeyzoom Dec 15  
Finals appearing to ruin your grades like  
[screenshot of Spider-Man’s iconic selfie]

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted Dr. Bruce Banner [verified] @bbanner Dec 15  
I’m sure you’ll do fantastic

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey Dec 15  
@bbanner thank you mrbanner sir i ust want to say that you’re one of my favorite scientists and i’m so glad u decieded to tweet me im sure i can die hppy now ty

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey Dec 20  
Sorry i haven’t been on much! Finals are finally over, life is back to normal, i survived, i’m back on twitter!

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted Dr. Tony Stark [verified] @iamironman Dec 20  
Signs of the season: Dum-E is making hot cocoa instead of smoothies  
[picture of hot chocolate in Tony’s hand, complete with tiny marshmallows]

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted Dr. Tony Stark [verified] @iamironman Dec 20  
Update: still contains motor oil

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey Dec 20  
[selfie of Spider-Man in an sweater with Thor’s hammer on the front]  
Ty u so much to the lady who knitted me this!! It’s so soft and warm and lovely!!! I’m so glad u think im worthy honestly this just might be better thn picking up mjolnir would be tbh thank uuuu

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey Dec 21  
@jtswesdymyfdlsakjf ICAntWOGH THS RESSXPSIBLITY TS GOTTA BPRERFFET TSS CHKFSTQSM 

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey Dec 21  
Sorry wrong account

Siiblyybll @sibvar  
@defnotspidey are u. Okay??

* * *

Diane @thorstruck  
@defnotspidey @iamironman  
[slightly shaking video of Spider-Man swinging towards Stark Tower. Spider-Man is wearing a fake beard and Santa cap. He is also carrying a huge red pillowcase, from which a string of Christmas lights is dangling]

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@thorstruck t as uppsed tb a srprise!!!! I nd t brg chrstma sprt t mstark!!

Diane @thorstruck  
@defnotspidey ur not very sneaky u know

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
@defnotspidey Don’t tweet while web swinging!!!

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
Also…  
[Tony Stark slowly pans the camera around his lab, which is drenched in decorations. Butterfingers swings his arm, which has a tinsel garland wrapped around it, into the frame. Tony grins sheepishly and throws up a peace sign]

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
@defnotspidey come on in, I made gingerbread. 

Spider-Man @defnotspidey  
@iamironman just warning u, one of ur presents is a science pun t-shirt

Dr. Tony Stark @iamironman  
Get inside, you insufferable nerd

* * *

**Mr. Tony “Fucking” Stark**

For future reference, next time you want to hang out

for whatever reason

just say so

No need to bust the suit’s air conditioning


	10. hell is a talking type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spidey helps some new friends

G (say “OK Google”)

[...]

whato d if u gt kickedd outof ur huoss

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
hlp ples somone

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
i cnt brehate

**Gina <3<3**

are you okay????

Im sososrry I idnt get back to you earlier

do you need help? Im on my way rn

Im ok ty

teyfound out aout usthats whats going on

I owuldnt mind having you wi me tho

If you dont mindsome othr company 2

Wre at thepizza plce btw

[short video. Shows a slice of pizza on a paper plate, then pans over to show another, much greasier plate, with a half-eaten piece of pizza on it. A hand covered in red spandex puts down a huge plastic cup of lemonade.

“You’re cool with me filming you, right?” a slightly shaking feminine voice asks. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s cool,” a young, masculine voice replies. “Say hi to Gina for me.” A brief pause, and then, “I guess since you’re filming I can just- hey, Gina!” 

The feminine voice laughs. “For a superhero, you’re such a dork.”

“For a superhero!” the voice sounds mock offended. “Are you saying Mr. Stark and-” The video cuts off abruptly.]

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
Im feeling a lot better, plz don’t worry about me guys

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
finally, something useful comes out of this goddawful swim unit  
[super close shot of a pair of goggles against a red background with a web pattern against it. An unbelievably gravelly and deep voice says, **It is Wednesday my dudes.”** Then, the camera pans out, and Spider-Man leans head back and yodels “AAAAAAAAAA-AAAAA-AAAA-AAAA” in a much less gravelly sounding voice. In the background, you can hear two feminine voices losing their shit choking on their own laughter. Spider-Man, whose mask has been pushed up to his chin, grins and takes a huge bite of his piece of pizza. The video ends.]

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
@JimmyHere i’m your biggest fan can you sign my goggles plz

you know who I am [verified] @iamironman retweeted Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
An excellent use of Interrogation Mode for sure. 

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey retweeted you know who I am [verified] @iamironman  
With great power comes great responsibility

**Aunt May**

[...]

i need some advice

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woodland god hozier @dramaticashell  
@tnysnrk ???

**Aunt May**

it’s your choice either way

i’m goin tdo it

This is important

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
[a shot of Spider-Man, still sitting at the same place, his plate even greasier than before. His posture is much more straight, and his hand is movely quickly, tapping on the table.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” comes a feminine voice from behind the camera. 

Spider-Man shakes his head. “No, I do. Just… nervous, I guess.” 

He looks straight into the camera. “I’m trans and bi.”]

hell is a talking type @tnysnrk  
@defnotspidey #biderman

Spider-Man [verified] @defnotspidey  
Just a moment

#biderman [verified] @defnotspidey  
There we go

woodland god hozier @dramaticashell  
@tnysnrk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Mr. Dad**

Sorry i didn’t tlel you

I owe you that but i just

You don’t owe me anything, kid

you know who I am [verified] @iamironman retweeted #biderman [verified] @defnotspidey  
Bi buddies! [bi flag emoji]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy Wednesday! (and happy birthday eve to me :D)


End file.
